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Today bright sunlight pours into my kitchen, warming my heart, and lifting my spirits. As I bask in the sunshine, I also start to notice the dust I have not gotten to and the grime that hides on appliances. Was it always there? Am I seeing it now because the light is shining so bright? Not unlike my kitchen, there are parts of myself that are less visible in the dark, lurking just below the surface. Interestingly, Corona means crown. Our crown chakra sits like a crown on the top of our head, radiating upwards, hence its name. It represents light, awareness, wisdom, and what is sacred. It also is associated with the transforming of our limitations. I am curious about what the corona light is revealing about me and my shadow, the world, and our collective shadow.
Although I cannot always see my shadow side, I know she is there. She speaks to me with a biting tone, eliciting my fears and anxieties about the coronavirus. I should be used to her by now. I have lived with her for over half of a century. But I still am taken back by how crippling her words can be. My shadow side developed when I was very young. I quickly figured out I needed to be good to be loved and accepted. I hid the parts of myself others might find unacceptable. I became very skilled at being nice and happy so that others would like me. Not only did I deny my perceived dark or weak parts, but I also repressed aspects that I knew made others uncomfortable, like my emotional sensitivity and my power.
I see imbalances in myself reflected in our world. We are personally and collectively learning something important about responsibility and leadership: self-leadership as well as how we are led. We are starting to see more of the structural inequalities of governments, leaders, and economies, as well as in our own lives, jobs, and social connections. Is it that there is more darkness, or are we just able to see more clearly because now there is more light?
I can't help but wonder if the coronavirus is a reflection of the disturbances that live within us. Our inner and outer micro-kingdoms are out of balance. Viruses wake up parts of the body that are asleep. This virus is forcing us to reconsider who we are and what we value. We dangerously neglect our health, comprising our immune systems; we recklessly pollute mother earth, increasing the likelihood of a natural disaster; we live beyond our needs, stressing our finances. We engage in mindless, constant activity, exhausting ourselves, and causing us to feel scattered.
Our shadow side's desire for more money, more things, and more power has blinded our judgment. For the past four decades, we have dismantled many safeguards. It's as if the materialistic thrill-seeker in us has been cruising down the highway at 120 miles an hour with no insurance. We have been heading towards a disaster for a long time, but we ignored the signs. How can we sustain an economy that has over a trillion-dollar deficit? How can we nourish our people when we deplete our soil beyond repair? How can we be healthy when we focus more on disease than prevention?
We are experiencing challenging times. When we tap into our infinite supply of inner resources like strength, courage, tenacity, determination, and creativity, we will find answers and solutions we never knew we had. The opportunity for more love, compassion, and connectedness expands when we realize we are all in this world together. Having a singularity of purpose will help us rest and regroup.
Maybe the coronavirus is here to open and expand us exponentially, shining a light on the parts of ourselves that are divided and out of balance. Self-awareness offers us many gifts of insights and personal power. Maybe when we begin to integrate and heal all parts of ourselves, our world will heal too.